Terrible pet names

Where is the line drawn between whimsical and just fucking stupid when it comes to naming pets? Of course, most of us want unique names for our furry friends, and there's certainly nothing wrong with such old boring standards as Muffin, Bootsie, or Spot, although many pets have some pretty exotic names these days, such as Delilah, Oreo, and Quasar.

But there's a darker side to pet naming. I've met a pug named Wormy and a cat called Fester. These aren't nicknames that have been given to animals with regular names—these are their real names.

That said, most of us do have affectionate nicknames for our pets. Isis, my Siberian Husky (and she was named before the Middle Eastern…unpleasantness), is known around my house as Icy-juicy, Isitos, Isis-Catches-Mices, and Icicle.

Are there pet names that you simply couldn't believe—either proper names or nicknames? Please tell us.

I once knew a dog named "Deohg" inflection on the "oh"

[quote] But there's a darker side to pet naming.

That made me laugh. Thank you

I know someone who named their cat "kitty" wonder how long it took them to think that name up. That is like naming your son, boy.

My sister had a dog named Sandy...but no one called him that for more than a minute. They called him Puppa. My grandfather had a dog named Puppy. It was his favourite dog!

Being a proud gayling, when I was 12 I won a big fish tank in a raffle and my parents bought me four exotic fish. I was obsessed with Die Entführung aus dem Serail and decided to name them Konstanze, Belmonte, Blonde and Pedrillo.

A co-worker named her new cat Baby Jesus. He was called B.J. for short.

R6–Are you Niles Crane? That would have been a terrific [italic]Frasier[/italic] flashback.

I've noticed lots of Tucker, Cooper, Sophie and Morgan as dog names by semi-eldergays. The same names straight people 20 years younger name their human offspring!

Fester doesn't seem that odd. Maybe they named the cat after the Addams Family character.

Anytrhing with Mr or Miss is ridiculous. My neighbor’s cat is Miss Flossy wtf

My much loved dog Keera has become Keeraboo, Peekaboo, Peekanese, Peeky, Galimimus, Golly-mimus, and just plain Mimus. And sometimes, just plain Miss Dog. She could give a shit and care less, God I love her!

I am a veterinary technician. We really hate seeing multiple pets a day named Bella, Chloe, Max, Buddy, and Beau. These names are so common that some even share same owner last name.

R14: You forgot Luna. There are 3 Lunas (2 cats and a dog) on my block alone.

My friends dog is called David. I find that an odd name for a dog.

I hate boring typical pet names like Fluffy and Spot. An acquaintance’s children named their cats Susan, Michael and Scott. I thought that was rather charming. I also love pets with old fashioned stodgy names like Edith, Arthur, Agatha.

Gee thanks R4 You're a boner killer, my cat is actually named "Kitty" and my dog is "Boy". The full names are Kitty Kat and Boy Dog. I have a Snookie too.

A very Roman Catholic family I knew named their pony Dolores. I've never heard of any animal being named Dolores.

Six pins, Dolores! You know how I like it.

r6, if your parents didn't know you were gay at that point, they were stone blind.

I've met a pitt named Kevin. That was weird. That reminds me of a time when I worked with a Ukrainian model and she said, "I don't know why Americans give their pets people names like Kevin or David. Now, "Udididslslttchk" (I don't know the language, obviously), that is a good name for a pet."

Did they call you by their pets' names? If not, then shut up, control freak.

I think this new trend of calling pets after food, like Egg or Spaghetti, is adorable.

Adam Sandler had two bulldogs named Meatball and Matzo Ball. And them one of them died.

I'll confess I gave my cat an odd name. I adopted him as a kitten but couldn't think of a name after several months. A friend suggested I name him "Don't Know" - probably tired of me talking about naming the cat. I took him up on his suggestion and gave him the name of Da'noh, because it sounded French. Once I made an appointment for him with the vet and the receptionist asked me the cat's name. When I said Da'noh she replied, "Don't you know his name?" Haha!

Da'noh is now almost 17 years old and couldn't imagine him having any other name.

My neighbor has a dog named Steven.

Our pug is Sancho because of his pot belly. Most people don't get it, but that's okay.

I had a cat that used to have hairballs and throw up (I was constantly having to brush her put and give her hairball medicine, and it only worked sporadically), so I started calling her "Puke-ahontas." (Her original name was Sally.)

I know a couple who have two cats named Bump and Grind.

My cat is actually named Kitty. Her name is Kitty Carlisle.

My cats have very boring names. I wish I had named the younger one "Mr. Bonkers".

[quote]R16 My friends dog is called David. I find that an odd name for a dog.

I giggle when I think of pets being given mundane human names. It should happen more, just for the wackiness.

“And these are my Siamese, Harold and Ruth.”

At the dog park, there was a 150 pound Mastiff called "Mouse".

Stains for a dog. So that when you bring it to a dog park and you need to call it, "Come, Stains! Come, Stains!"

"Kitty" is the #1 most common name for a cat in the US.

A friend had a dog named Pervy Bob.

We have six cats and a dog. The dog, Summer, belongs to my partner and pre-dates our relationship. If she survives till October, she'll be 14.

The oldest cat, Charlie, was named by me and also came here before my partner did. Lucy and Cinder, a bonded pair of SPCA sisters, 9 years old, were named by their previous owner. SPCA Peggy was named by my partner, in honor of Marvel's Peggy Carter. Dax was also named by him. I suspect that he has a sort of crush on Dax Shepard. He also named SPCA Molly, who was originally called Misty.

My next-door neighbor's cat had a name I didn't understand --I heard it as Mister Kitty, Misty Kitty or Mystic Kitty. I finally asked the neighbor. It was Mister Kitty. "Yeah, pretty original," he said.

My friends had a miniature pot-bellied pig named Kevin Bacon.

I know a beautiful red-headed female cat named "Miss Kitty" after Matt Dillon's lady friend on "Gunsmoke".

I had a friend who named his kitten "Kitty Shcherbatsky" after the character from "Anna Karenina."

Have a friend who named their cat, "Shitty Kitty" because it had mad runs for a long time when she adopted it.

A few months ago, I was in the waiting area of my vet's office. This vet office serves cats only. The receptionist had the task of calling customer's and reminding them of their upcoming appointment the falling day. Of course, no one answered their phones, she she ended up leaving voicemail after voicemail. I cracked up listening to all of the cat names. "I'm calling to remind you about Mr. Faversham Higginbottom's appointment tomorrow."

r16 are we friends? that's the name my big guy came with but I pronounce it Dah-veed because my (at the time) boss's name was David and ixhated him so much that I was afraid my big guy would hear me bitching with hatred about boss and think my tone was directed at him.

my eskimo had a human name too (came that way) but we just called him sir fluffy bunny.

my girl was named after a famous yowly singer with big fluffy hair. just like my girl.

also, many dogs with people names got the names because they were in shelter as strays and have to have a name. so they give the name of one of the shelter staff.

R4 I actually named my cat Kitty. I found him as a kitten near death on a sidewalk in Bucharest, Romania, and was going to give him a Romanian name, but all my friends were so enthralled by trying to pronounce the English word Kitty (which came out as Keeeetie), that I decided that was his name. It didn't bother him, so not sure why it would bother you.

I have a Pekinese rescue dog named Peluchin, which is Spanish for essentially fur ball, in the sense of a stuffed animal. My friends call him Pelluchini Alfredo, or poopalini, and I call him Dogdog. And yes, I'm the one who named the cat Kitty.

“Kitteh” is more of the moment.

Though they are now divorced Tinsley and Topper Mortimer win the couples match in annoying matching nicknames.

What does that have to do with pets, r49?

Tinsley is her real name.

Topper is a ridiculous nickname.

I had a one eyed cat named Uno, a three legged cat named Tre, another cat named Pbomb. My son has a bearded dragon named Pumpkin.

I forgot to mention the cocker spaniel named Voodoo.

A female boxer named Jihad

I had a ferret named mouse

R46, cats have their own names for themselves and each other. Probably for us too.

My colleague has a dog named Anastasia Peppercorn.

My friend had a female Saint Bernard, and he named her "Mother". This big fat lazy dog, (though she was very sweet). "Mother, get out of the garbage"... "Mother, get over here now!". "Mother, stop that". "Mother, time to go to bed". When he'd come back from taking her for a walk, "Mother took a huge dump in front of the Sanders house"....

Like I said, it was hilarious.

Someone I know has a cat named "Doggie". She swears that he plays fetch and lies around with his tongue hanging out, I haven't seen either.

How do you pronounce Pbomb? Is it like Psmith?

It's pronounced pee-bomb after the mega boulders she left in the cat litter

There's a fairly large street in Reno, NV, called Kietzke Lane (pronounced KITT-ski.) Any cat to whom I'm introduced becomes Kietzke. (Which I sometimes pronounce as KEET-ski.) If I ever get a cat, its name is going to be Kietzke.

My bird is named after my former cat. The bird is his reincarnation.

I’ve always wanted to have a cat and name it Linda. I don’t know why, it just feels right.

My Chinese grandparents, no matter what animal they had, several dogs, cats and fish would name it, "Lucky", which in itself is not terrible, but I thought it was terrible that they had no imagination at all.

[quote]but I thought it was terrible that they had no imagination at all.

At least they didn't call them "dinner".

A friend had a sweet dog, very mixed. Very. Her name was Carol.

On paper, not the best choice. But in practice, it was really okay.

I was in charge of naming groups of dogs for the rescue for a while. either litters of puppies or dogs that came in together from hoarding cases/ puppy mills/ stray friends.

we always do themes, some places do by alphabet ie the a puppies angel, alex, arrow etc.

not everyone could figure mine out every time. blanche, rose, Sophia, Dorothy.

raven, juju, manilla, alaska

sometimes a name is just someone amusing themselves.

I had a cat named Chairman Meow.

The next dog or cat I get I’m naming Tyrone. I like that name and I also like giving animals human names.

[quote]I was in charge of naming groups of dogs for the rescue for a while. either litters of puppies or dogs that came in together from hoarding cases/ puppy mills/ stray friends.

A teenage neighbor girl volunteers at one of the area pet adoption centers. The center's dogs and cats are often featured as a public service by the local newspaper. I noticed that the pets always have completely uni spired names, such as Max, Lucy, Bella, Luna, Blackie, etc. I asked if I could name some of them and gave her a list of names I thought were more appealing, such as Orion, Ajax, Zephyr, Stingo, Elvira and Fargo.

Unfortunately, none of my choices was considered, and to this day the agency is still adopting dogs out that have been temporarily named Fluffy and Mittens. Oh, well. I can take rejection.

R71 — I REALLY like how you think!

HA! I like the way YOU think r74, we had an Ajax, 2 zephyrs and a Fargo. kidding not.

A veterinarian friend said that at her vet school, all animals referred to in classroom discussions were given the generic name of "Fluffy". If they were talking about dogs, it'd be "... now say that Fluffy comes in having eaten a bag of styrofoam peanuts...", of if they were talking about exotics they'd discuss Fluffy the llama of Fluffy the iguana.

It's the vet's equivalent of the "Patient X" of human case studies.

My cretinous ex had a cat with a very distinct squiggly black spot on his nose. He thought this was hilarious and named the poor creature Booger became he thought the mark looked like a booger. The height of wit.

My trashy former neighbors had a miniature poodle named By-Joe. When I asked them why, they said it was the French word for Jewel. I guess they'd never actually heard the word Bijoux pronounced.

T. S. Elliot wrote that every cat should have three different names...

Our cat is Lacy, but we call her “poodles”, or “dumpling”, or “dumplins “

Is it racist to name a black cat Tyrone?

My sisters and I always laugh at my low-literacy next door neighbor who named his INSANELY expensive coonhound "Janice." Yes, "Janice." No wonder that dog escaped any time she could. Big dumb goofy dog that acted like a "Janice". So maybe it wasn't such a silly name?

He also had a gorgeous purebred pit bull, white with lovely clear blue-grey eyes. When she was a puppy, neighbor asked me to name her. Since her eyes were the exact color of Sinatra's, I named her "Frankie."

Idiot neighbor always called her "Frances." Ugh.

A former coworker's brother named his Rottweiler "Ebola."

Thank you, r79. I’ve always insisted that my siblings give their children two middle names. I’m always been ignored, too, though my brother did once say that my niece’s second middle name is Pierre and I consider that to be the case.

My dogs tended to have multiple names. Goldbuck was usually called Bucky, Buckyboy, Buck, and so forth. He used to love to have his ears massaged. How many names can a dog understand? It’s almost like he could tell by the tone I used, if I was referring to him, and what I have in store for him.

No pets of my own. Two sets of friend have had the best pet names.

Set #1: Two beagles named Java and Bagel.

Set#2: 3 cats. #1 Foster (I call him Dr. Foster), #2Cupcake and #3 Marty (Marty McFly. the husband is a huge Back to the Future fan)

I wonder how many Fentons and Bentons there are, now? He link is a particularly good one.

I knew a guy who named his Rotweiller Satan.

There were a number of Khaleesis, both human and pets named, before the last season, when she turned into a villain. How could people name a child after a character like this, and not know that she was going to turn out bad?

The dog's name was Chopper.

They tracked down Benton’s owner!

A friend of mine's father got a Doberman puppy for him when he was a young kid. Friend starts petting the dog, exclaiming, "Pretty!". Father, "Yes, son, what would you like to name the dog?"

"Pretty"..........At that point, the father should have known my friend was gay.

“Oreo” isn’t exactly exotic. Many black and white cats are named Oreo.

Is it more offensive to name a black cat Uncle Tom or Uncle Ben?

I’ve named my German Shepherd/Husky mixes “Police” and “Fire”. Whenever I call them to come in from the backyard, there’s quite a commotion for some reason. They seem to enjoy the attention, so, all’s well that ends well.

I have a cousin who named her black cat Mow Mow, as in a baby talk way to say “Meow”. I could not stop thinking about how it sounded too fucking close to Mau Mau, which is racist. I told her maybe she should change it.

My mother was good friends with a woman named “Gay Callahan”. I think that was her official, married name. It made her sound like a nickname for a stereotypical, Gay, Irish, drunk.

I have a turkey called Butterball.

85 — What is that movie? I've got to see it!

In England, rows of stables and coach houses with living quarters above are called mews. There's an area along the main street of Catford called the Catford Mews. I always thought that was kind of sweet.

[quote]How could people name a child after a character like this, and not know that she was going to turn out bad?

Pierre/R87, I'd guess for the same reason one of my college mate's best friend's name was "Delicious." Yes, it was her real, given name.

I mean, you CANNOT name your child Delicious and expect her to be anything but a nasty ho'.

(Which she was)

[quote]Reminds me of years ago when Judge Wapner was laying down the law to a litigant named Precious, who really WAS a young ho. He was so contemptuous of her and her bad attitude that you could fairly see the quote marks when he addressed her as "Precious."

^^ Sorry — don't know how that wound up in quote form ^^

I used to work with a young woman who called her dog Chien which is French … for dog.

My cat's name is Mouffette which is French for skunk. She has a white stripe down her back so the name is fitting. I call her Mouff, Mouffy, Mouffalicious and Fluffabuns. I originally considered naming her after the female cat in the Pepe Le Pew cartoons but I found out her name was Penelope and that didn't appeal.

Hi R98/R99, the movie is called “Downfall” and covers the last week or so in the bunkerM in German with subtitles.. It’s told from the perspective of one of Hitler’s young secretaries who only died about 5 or20 years ago. It’s a great film for its own sake, and has been satirized many times.

R81 I thought about that. I probably wouldn’t name the dog/cat Tyrone if it was black. It could be considered racist, idk. I’m white, so it might not be a good look anyway, but I’ve always liked the name.

I have a friend who calls his cat Mr. Perfect, which fits his feline personality.

Hi R97! My name is Tom! I hang out in a 19th century cemetery that is an arboretum in the middle if the Boston metro area. People usually leave us alone, but we have to keep an eye out for foxes.

R108, my town had a local celebrity turkey, known as "Downtown Tom". He made the front of the local paper and minor internet fame, because he liked to harass pedestrians.

But that's definitely a better name than just "Tom".

I have a cat named Blackie.

I have a cat named Tabby.

I inherited my mother’s cat Momcat.

I had a white cat named Marshmallow. I had two cats, one was named Boy & the other was Girl. (Girly).

But I had a hamster named Mousy Tong.

A lady down the street had a small little mini-dog of some kind whose name was Weeness, which was kind of stupid in itself, but in my mind I spelled it Weenus or Wenis, which made it funny. I'd always ask the lady about Wenis because I liked saying it.

It's almost jaw-dropping how little any of us want to know what the affectionate nicknames for your pets are.

[quote]It's almost jaw-dropping how little any of us want to know what the affectionate nicknames for your pets are.

This thread is about terrible names for pets, not affectionate nicknames; however, sometimes affectionate names venture into terrible name territory, so it's probably okay.

[quote]My cat's name is Mouffette which is French for skunk.

So your pussy Mouffette stinks?

My cat is named Luna, which I think is a pretty name.

While out for a walk yesterday I met a small dog named Pismo. That was a first.

I like the replies that list variations on the root name. This is good. My friend is trying to name a cat. She’s stuck on Milo, which I hate. So I sent her a photo of Milo Yannapupoulos every day for a week and she ditched it.

I had a lab named U. Fukkin Azhol. Not a big hit at the vet.

Years ago, a very sweet but methy go-go boy down the street had a large dog named Baby. No thank you.

[quote] I like the replies that list variations on the root name. This is good. My friend is trying to name a cat. She’s stuck on Milo, which I hate. So I sent her a photo of Milo Yannapupoulos every day for a week and she ditched it.

Call the dog Inigo

Oops. Got confused. Thought it was a dog.

I once took in a feral cat named Bootsie Gumdrop but it didn't last long. The poor thing couldn't stop pissing and shitting itself. Anytime I'd try to get close enough to clean her up she'd hiss and try to scratch me. I made sure that the facility I dropped her off at performed euthanizations because no one could ever love a disgusting creature like that.

Didn't Pink.have a dog she named Fucker?

I had cats named Byrd and Dave. Byrd was a vicious killer and psychopath who killed endless amounts of birds and rodents. She also used to get in the shower with me every morning. I've never had a cat that loved water like her. Dave was like a watchdog you didn't want to fuck with. One time a German shepherd attacked our lab and Dave jumped through the window and almost clawed his eyes out.

OOh r125, your Dave sounds like that cat that fended off the dog that was stalking and attacking the kid on his bike.

A friend has a cat named Loona, pronounced (of course) Luna. Its name used to be Luna, but the cat is genuine nuts so he changed the spelling to Loona.

Show dog names are the worst.

My cat is called My Pussy.

A clever or original name does NOT guarantee a well-trained or well behaved little pet.

Believe me, I know.

Ex BF had a cat named Petunia, which I think is a very charming name for a cat.

It's also a charming name for a pig, R132.

"Show dog names are the worst. "

Oh no, show CAT names are even worse!

"Fluffbunny Sparklepants of Periwinkleglitter", the last being the name of the breeder's business.

The generic dog name is Japan, equivalent to "Fido" or "Rex," is "John." That's right: dogs are called "John." I thought about naming my dog John but it'd be too much trouble to explain. I also considered "Squirmy" but I thought I'd sound like an idiot. So I settled on "Tiger."

My first Alaskan Malamute rescue was named Petunia by her foster family because of her potent farts. I changed her name to Elvira and there was never a farting problem again.

R101—I once answered an email from someone named Pretty.

[quote] Isis, my Siberian Husky (and she was named before the Middle Eastern…unpleasantness), is known around my house as Icy-juicy, Isitos, Isis-Catches-Mices, and Icicle.

No one ever, ever, ever wants to hear the cutesypoo nicknames you give your pet.

I've had two rescue dogs named "Bella". I didn't bother to change their names because both dogs had been in foster homes long enough that they recognized it as their name.

One of them is gone. The other I still have but usually call her by her nicknames unless she's up to no good.

I also have a cat named Maximus. NOT "Max" but Maximus. Fabias Maximus if you're nasty.

Neighbor's old Tom is named "Moses" which is amusing. "Moses, get in the house!"

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7pa3TmqOorZ6csm%2BvzqZmraCimq6le5FvZ3FoY2eDbsDEq6mimpyaerGx02almqWVqA%3D%3D